i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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