And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
