This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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