I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
