I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
