I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
