The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
someone owes me an orgasm
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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