i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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