my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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