Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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