The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
