what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
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