why do cheetos always look like penises
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize