they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
