Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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