Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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