PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
