She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize