You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
