I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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