how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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