Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My balls are so social today.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
