I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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