He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
