i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
