i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
