You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
