If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
