You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
They have beer where we have blood.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
