New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Im part way to drunk.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
