It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
