I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
