his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
