Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Im part way to drunk.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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