what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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