A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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