Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
