That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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