it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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