I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
