is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
