she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
