I am in a vortex of obligation.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Damn victory sex feels great
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
