phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
