We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
