we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
