I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize