his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
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