fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
