she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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