I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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