Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
