We're like a lot better than the average bears
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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