Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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