his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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