Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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