If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
