hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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