i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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