I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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